🔗 Share this article Navigating my Yearning for Casual Encounters While Pursuing a Meaningful Relationship Being a homosexual male approaching 50, I’ve spent many, mostly enjoyable years engaging in spontaneous encounters with other men from my teenage years. In my 30s, I had a serious relationship which continued for four years, but it never fully satisfied me, because I felt neither loved or sexually nourished. The fact is that I have always craved casual sex. Whenever I begin to date a potential partner, once the newness fades, an impulse arises to have sex with other men again. Reflecting on the Possibility of Monogamy Currently, I'm contemplating whether it's possible for me to sustain a faithful partnership. I'm aware that many gay men have open relationships, but when I’ve witnessed them, they appear like hard work, often causing lots of heartache and envy for everyone involved. In many ways, I want another man to care for me while letting me pursue other intimacies, however I fear the emotional drain this might create. Should I just keep having spontaneous encounters and accept that a lasting partnership may be unattainable? I’m feeling a bit lost. Every person’s intimate path varies. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your ability to tolerate various forms of sexual unions as fixed. Your needs as you are experiencing them now may well change in the future; at a certain time you might become less ambivalent and find some clarity and a comfortable path … or perhaps not. At some point you could encounter a person who provides a life-changing chance for you through mirroring what you want completely … and at another point you may choose that casual connections suit you best. Fretting over what lies ahead and engaging in endless speculation is merely rooted in fear and squandering of your energy. Try to be present with your partners, and see the worth of each person you connect with intimately an intimate bond. If and when you are ever ready to strengthen genuine closeness with one partner, you will know. The psychotherapist is a US-based therapy professional focusing on addressing intimacy issues.